Rough Seas

What do you do when you know you need to change a feeling, change the way your heart feels? Is that even possible? I know what my heart wants and aches for, but it is unattainable. Shouldn't that be the point that my brain kicks in and helps my heart let go? Am I defective, is the switch between my heart and brain broken? I am full of faith and know God reveals to me everything I need to know, but what if my heart is so powerful it won't let my brain or soul listen to God? I have never in my life known exactly what I want and need but been so unable to attain it. I believe life is good and while it would be easy to just assume I am meant to live a miserable life due to the pain I feel on a daily basis, but deep down I know it's not true. I know I deserve good things. I deserve to have my heart feel satisfied and whole. I need to find peace, a place where my heart and soul feel at rest. That is what I miss more than anything. I haven't felt it in months. I used to be able to lay my head down at night and feel absolute peace in my body, mind and soul. I don't feel that anymore. I feel like I never rest, even when I sleep. I wake and I still feel as though my heart is heavy.

Salute

Salute
Whitney Houston

You say you wanna walk away
You ain't got nothing to say
I salute you
Yeah, Go on out the door
Now you take care
No more tears to shed
What you expected me to beg
Well I'm Not
I'm Done
So when you leave
Just close the door behind you

Beause I'm feeling kinda taller than you
Lately
I'm feeling kinda stronger than you
Lately
I'm feeling kinda better than you
And I know just what to do
I feel like doing my hair
Feel like calling some of my friends
I feel like going to a club
Because I'm a soldier girl
In this world
I stand alone
I can be strong
I walked the miles
I made it home
It's good to know without you I made it
Soldier girl
In my world
I took the fall
Now I stand tall
For the pain and all I made it through
and now all I gotta say to you
Salute
Salute

You think you know everythng
See you think that your shit don't stink
Well it do
Yeah and when it comes to me
You don't have a clue
It took me all of these years
To realize you don't belong here
I can do better
You say I'll never do better
Yeah Right Whatever