Just click your heels three times!! There is just something about going home that recharges your battery. I forgot what a sunset from the dock at my house looks like, I had forgotten the peacefulness of being on my brothers boat out on the water. I missed spending serious quality time with two of my neices. I feel blessed and recharged. Something about knowing and having your family back you, truly makes you feel like you can take on the world. The truth is with the family I have, I can take on the world, because whether I succeed or fail I will never lose their love and support. It becomes easier to mend a broken heart, to clear your mind, and to realize what is truly important. In fact being around a supportive family seems to clear the roadblocks and make it much easier and finally possible to get to the next level.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Rough Seas
What do you do when you know you need to change a feeling, change the way your heart feels? Is that even possible? I know what my heart wants and aches for, but it is unattainable. Shouldn't that be the point that my brain kicks in and helps my heart let go? Am I defective, is the switch between my heart and brain broken? I am full of faith and know God reveals to me everything I need to know, but what if my heart is so powerful it won't let my brain or soul listen to God? I have never in my life known exactly what I want and need but been so unable to attain it. I believe life is good and while it would be easy to just assume I am meant to live a miserable life due to the pain I feel on a daily basis, but deep down I know it's not true. I know I deserve good things. I deserve to have my heart feel satisfied and whole. I need to find peace, a place where my heart and soul feel at rest. That is what I miss more than anything. I haven't felt it in months. I used to be able to lay my head down at night and feel absolute peace in my body, mind and soul. I don't feel that anymore. I feel like I never rest, even when I sleep. I wake and I still feel as though my heart is heavy.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Salute
Salute
Whitney Houston
You say you wanna walk away
You ain't got nothing to say
I salute you
Yeah, Go on out the door
Now you take care
No more tears to shed
What you expected me to beg
Well I'm Not
I'm Done
So when you leave
Just close the door behind you
Beause I'm feeling kinda taller than you
Lately
I'm feeling kinda stronger than you
Lately
I'm feeling kinda better than you
And I know just what to do
I feel like doing my hair
Feel like calling some of my friends
I feel like going to a club
Because I'm a soldier girl
In this world
I stand alone
I can be strong
I walked the miles
I made it home
It's good to know without you I made it
Soldier girl
In my world
I took the fall
Now I stand tall
For the pain and all I made it through
and now all I gotta say to you
Salute
Salute
You think you know everythng
See you think that your shit don't stink
Well it do
Yeah and when it comes to me
You don't have a clue
It took me all of these years
To realize you don't belong here
I can do better
You say I'll never do better
Yeah Right Whatever
Saturday, August 29, 2009
All for a reason
Sometimes you are forced to face things you don't want to; whether it's the fact that a relationship you had was all a lie or someone you thought actually had moral character is actually just like every other lowlife you have ever known. Sometimes the reason you are forced to face these things is in order to make room for better things in your life. People lie; sometimes you are forced to see these lies in order to move on to something or someone better.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood
And there's some things that I regret
Some words I wish had gone unsaid
Some starts that had some better endings
Been some bad times I've been through
Damage I could not undo
Some things I wish I could do all all over again
But it don't really matter
When life gets that much harder
It makes you that much stronger
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes
With every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
Every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every star
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
There's mistakes that I have made
Some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should have taken
Been some signs I didn't see
Hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
But it don't make no difference
The past can't be rewritten
But you get the life you're given
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes
And every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every star
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And all the things that break you
Are all the things that make you strong
You can't change the past
Cause it's gone
And you just gotta move on
Because it's all lessons learned
From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every start
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
I have had this song in my head for the past two days...The words to this song say so much more than I ever could....Life is funny and so many times things happen that leave you wondering why or wishing for a different outcome. You just have to take them as lessons learned and move on. No matter how hard you try and hold on to the past, the fact is it's gone!
Some words I wish had gone unsaid
Some starts that had some better endings
Been some bad times I've been through
Damage I could not undo
Some things I wish I could do all all over again
But it don't really matter
When life gets that much harder
It makes you that much stronger
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes
With every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
Every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every star
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
There's mistakes that I have made
Some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should have taken
Been some signs I didn't see
Hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
But it don't make no difference
The past can't be rewritten
But you get the life you're given
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes
And every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every star
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
And all the things that break you
Are all the things that make you strong
You can't change the past
Cause it's gone
And you just gotta move on
Because it's all lessons learned
From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every start
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned
I have had this song in my head for the past two days...The words to this song say so much more than I ever could....Life is funny and so many times things happen that leave you wondering why or wishing for a different outcome. You just have to take them as lessons learned and move on. No matter how hard you try and hold on to the past, the fact is it's gone!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Cookie Jar by Jack Johnson
Side note think it's pretty funny my post about 27 posted at 11:07; Add the two ones and you got 27...lol. I know I have been posting a lot of lyrics, but I love music and sometimes my thoughts and feelings are expressed far better through others words.
I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people I don't know what they mean
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down
Turn it around
"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun
"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun
You can't blame me cause I'm too young"
"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It's the killing on this TV screen
You can't blame me its those images he's seen"
Well "You can't blame me" , says the media man
Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan
I just point my camera at what the people want to see
Man it's a two way mirror and you can't blame me"
"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see
The smoke machines and makeup and you can't fool me"
It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell than hell's what we'll have
And I would turn on the TV
But It's so embarrassing
To see all the other people
I don't even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But it let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn it around
Turn it around
I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people I don't know what they mean
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down
Turn it around
"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun
"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun
You can't blame me cause I'm too young"
"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It's the killing on this TV screen
You can't blame me its those images he's seen"
Well "You can't blame me" , says the media man
Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan
I just point my camera at what the people want to see
Man it's a two way mirror and you can't blame me"
"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see
The smoke machines and makeup and you can't fool me"
It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell than hell's what we'll have
And I would turn on the TV
But It's so embarrassing
To see all the other people
I don't even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But it let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn it around
Turn it around
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Uggh 27!
27 has become such a funny number ever since two friends brought it to my attention, but I will tell you there is one 27 I am not looking forward to and that is 27 years which I am about to experience a week from today! It's not that I am not happy that I have gotten to experience 27 beautiful years in this world, it's more that I am definitely on the fast track to 30 and don't feel as though I have achieved what I want to achieve. I understand that everyone is on their own path and life is funny in that you are never where you expected to be....I am happy with that. It's just there are certain things that I truly hoped would have happened by now, some of them I could have made happen, others just must not have been in the plans for me just yet. I have an amazing family, some truly special friends and have experienced things that I will look fondly back on for the rest of my life. This birthday just brings up the nagging fire that has been under my ass for the past three months. It is like an alarm clock went off and I realized how many things I truly wanted to have done by now and realized that a majority of them I could make happen, so I set the ball rolling and am now working towards those goals. I refuse to turn 28 and feel like there were so many things I should've, could've, would've done....I am going to do them and live life with minimal regrets!
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