Inner Peace

When you can find calm in the middle of the storm, that is when you know true inner peace. I feel like I have always been a restless soul. This creates numerous problems in my life, because in many ways I perform much better in high stress situations than when things are going good. I guess this has to do a little with my pessimism as well. When things are going well, I am always waiting for the other shoe to fall, so instead of waiting I throw the shoe down! I create a storm to live in because it serves my immediate purpose while preventing me from every truly acquiring the things and situations I truly desire. I have a very hard time relaxing...I have been told by numerous people just relax and chill out but I feel so often like life is racing past me and that I can't afford to wait and relax. I am trying more these days to just relax and appreciate each day for what it is. I am also trying to find that inner peace so when the entire world around me is falling apart I will stand strong and be able to deal logically and calmly. I think more than anything in this world the one thing I crave is peace, I have relied on everyone else except for myself in the past to acheive this peace, I finally understand that by relying on others for my peace I am preventing myself from ever truly feeling peace permanently. It will always be reliant on the generosity and attitude of others. I deserve to feel peace even if no one else in this world is offering it to me. I deserve to take it and feel it as I walk through this world.